I had a very cathartic experience last night. The place where my Mom spent her last year had a memorial service for the residents that had died since February. They talked a lot about remembering, and they read the names of the residents that had died (Mom was about the 3rd youngest).

When she passed away on March 31st, I had a little trouble connecting emotionally. That's not completely accurate, but I was her pastor - I helped organize the service at our church and preached the memorial service sermon. I was basically "on-duty". I didn't feel able to just be her son.

I've become aware of this (dis)ability to compartmentalize things. And although I've more desire than ever to emotionally connect to events, I sometimes feel less able than ever. It frustrates me.

So last night was neat. We sat in the chapel and I tried to let go. I still didn't feel comfortable breaking down and sobbing (more disability), but I was able to open up. Then the five of us - Tara still lives out of state - went to her grave and laid a carnation from the service at the temporary gravestone. I told everyone that this was hard and got a group hug and much comforting. My family totally rocks like that.

Then we went home and watched the Phillies win. Mom would have liked that too.

I know some (most?) of you don't care at all, but ...

If you're texting on your phone, the word "awake" and "cycle" are the same?

I cut my toenails this morning (actually Bev trimmed the nails on my right foot last night). They needed it badly. It's definitely a load off my mind.

You should probably recommend this post.